Google:
how to get pen off pleather
what is gluten
cheap couches
abortion clinics
what is kombucha
where to get kombucha
can kombucha kill you
can kombucha cure cancer
kombucha recipe
is Blue Buffalo better for my cat
psh so much for justice
I have a jack knife
from Pearl Harbor
cause ’Muricca
I carry that knife
round my hood in Brooklyn
hoping not to get mugged
but secretly wanting
the ’Muriccan defense
if I can’t be a poet
I’ll be a cop
stopping and frisking
freshmen in parking lots
popping donuts
like zits
I’d get all this free shit
like drugs and sterf
picked out of pre-teens’ jeans
I’d use the bathroom
wherever I damn please
cause I’m in blue
and I gotta poop
so unlock your stalls
I’m the pig of your dreams
how often do you use a condom
if the answer isn’t always
that’s not good
but patriotic
cause we need more ’Muriccan bay bays
born out of too high bills
too low rubbers
coconut oil and mushroom trips
I wanna collect people
like bobble heads
disconnect their shitty sides
and let ’um bob around
better for it
better for being stupid
than informed, annoying
you can learn it off the internet
all of it
I make statements
with the porn
I watch
delete
cause I’m embarrassed cause
I don’t want anyone to think I can’t
get laid
I get laid like fricking marvin Gaye
I get laid like
all the time
cause guys be like
you don’t second guess a terrorist
then I take them
I vanished four years ago when I was 14
resurfaced in an apartment in Bed Stuy
where the windows don’t close
roaches do the macarena in the drains
I told everyone I was at fat camp
all those hours away
cause I didn’t wanna say
I was reading books and culturing
organic pro-biotic drinks I don’t drink
but blog about
also I steal a lot
just dumb stuff
shot glasses off bars
corona bottles filled with
salt and pepper
kiwis from fridges at
warehouse band jams
I steal stupid little stuff
like semen out of
unprotected penile vaults
cause you know
china’s having this crisis
where there aren’t enough bay bays
someone even made a movie about it
I’m not in it
but I’ll see it
with someone I meet on
Match
ThisIsHowBlackPeople
JDate
Mingle
Tinder
pedia
I’m gunna meet my soulmate
on line
for iced coffee
coconut iced coffee
with agave nectar not sugar
cause little kid soldiers have to
chop that shit down and shit
I stopped using shampoo
cause animals
but then I was gross
so now I use shampoo
and all that other good stuff
cause if I’m not a dimepiece
I’m a piece of something else
I’m not gunna curse in a poem
that’s obscene
I’m not that girl
I don’t buy things from Amazon
except things I have to buy on Amazon
like books
vintage looking picture frames
IPhone 5 chargers
tea-tox’s
plasma TV mounts
rare green and purple fluorite bracelets
and other stuff I really need
I’m not going to be part of the problem
I’ll be the slutlution
all the bad guys can line up
bang out their frustration
on the drum set I bought on Amazon
oh and me cause
my libido ain’t going the way of the dodo
I’ve got all these hormones
from all the shitty food I eat
it’s not my fault
I’m a victim
I can’t even use Credit Karma
cause I don’t have credit
cause my mom pays my rent
and she’s all in debt but I’m all
riiiiightttttt
•
Grace Dilger is a 21 year old poet living and drinking cheap beer in Bed Stuy, Brooklyn. This year she will graduate with an overpriced degree in writing from the Pratt Institute where she has spent many hours absorbing the natural habitat of the hipster. In her free time she can be found arranging her own bouquets, drinking Kombucha, and generally causing a ruckus. She hopes to one day fund her career as a poet by doing the seemingly undoable and beseeching the world to read and appreciate poetry.